Secondary Infertility: A Personal Story of Loss and Grief

An increasing number of people worldwide are experiencing fertility and this trend is reflected in the data from the United Kingdom. However, most research focuses on the experiences of women and so the male perspective is largely missing from the literature. This narrative is an account of my personal journey of secondary infertility. Presenting a male perspective of infertility provides a point of view which is rarely explored and is about a topic which feels largely a societal taboo. I chart how infertility has changed me, what it has meant to me through my years of trying to come to terms with it, and so also represents a search for meaning and personal identity in a fragmented world. My experiences indicate that men’s responses to secondary infertility can be similar to those of women, with feelings of grief, loss, frustration, guilt, depression, and a loss of identity and role. Little support is offered for couples and individuals experiencing secondary infertility and men are generally not thought to experience these emotions. As a result, this grief is felt to be largely disenfranchised.