Finding My Voice through Poetry by Tanya Lord

My son, Noah, was 4 years old when he died from a series of medical errors following a tonsillectomy. What plagued me from the start was the feeling that I had no voice. I spoke but was not listened to. I asked questions that were never answered. I did not know how to navigate a complex healthcare system and I did not know how to partner in my son’s care.

After his death there was such anger around me. Family and friends were focused on blaming the providers that took care of Noah. The level of trust in healthcare was palpable in my family. 

For me the anger did not seem to fit with who my son was. I wanted no part of it. Instead I wanted to understand why medical errors happen. I wanted to restore the trust that had been broken.

I went back to school, changed careers to work in healthcare and finally understood that a broken system, not broken people, are at the root of most medical errors. I found my voice…in many ways. One of them was writing poetry, mostly about grief but this poem came to me about the loss of innocence and finding hope again right along side of healthcare.