Mastering the Art of Listening: The Human Experience Superpower

by Jason A. Wolf, Ph.D., CPXP

[E𝘹𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘶𝘦 𝘰𝘧 Patient Experience Journal from The Beryl Institute: 𝘌𝘯𝘨𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘝𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘗𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘉𝘦𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘚𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘺𝘴.]

As human beings, we do not live in isolation. Our existence is framed in the context of others. We are a part of families and teams, communities and countries; all of which provide us with ideas and information, most delivered through the interactions we have with others.

The very definition of experience itself conveys this as it opens with the words, “𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘮 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴.”[1] Every experience that we have is impacted by interactions with others. This give and take of connection is the breath of our humanity. Through it, we transfer thoughts and beliefs, words and emotions.

Moments of human connection are powered by communication, be it through words or actions. It is in these moments where we not only speak, but also more importantly, listen to others. Listening is the means through which we learn, understand, and engage. It is how we take in the world around us. Yet, it too is a skill often underdeveloped and more so underutilized. When we think about the power of experience in healthcare and its strategic influence on all we do, it is imperative that we get communication right. And with that, we must master the art of listening.

Listening is the means through which we learn, understand, and engage. It is how we take in the world around us.

Much has been written about listening, its processes, and effective practices. As a student of social psychology and social construction,[2] I hold to the idea proposed by Berger and Luckman[3] that our knowledge and understanding is created not from inherent fixed meaning, but from the social interactions through which they are created. There again is the power of interactions not only to construct relationships as noted above, but to create the very realities in which we find ourselves.

Berger and Luckman assert that language may be the most powerful system through which we connect, which brings me back to the breath of humanity I noted above, the give and take that occurs in the acts of speaking and listening. It is where reality is shaped, lessons learned, and opportunities created.

Carl Rogers, a champion for a person-centered approach to psychology, understood that the opportunity for human connection, for person-centeredness, was found beyond just hearing what people say, to the art of listening. In his 1957 work with co-author Richard Farson, they offer a powerful perspective on active listening.[4] While many have attached themselves to the term active listening, I suggest we look at this fundamental idea as what listening in its own right should be overall; where we honor the human being in front of us for all they say, reflect, and do.

In reviewing the key ideas of Rogers and Farson, I believe we must consider:

1. Listening brings about change. Change in people’s attitudes towards others and themselves.
2. To listen effectively, we must listen for total meaning. The opportunity is to listen beyond just hearing content, to understanding the feelings and attitudes conveyed. Often, it is the experienced feelings or non-verbal signs that reflect the reality of the moment for someone that words cannot convey.
3. By listening with intent, we show interest in and elevate the importance of the person with  whom we are interacting in a way that they feel more than heard. Rather they feel respected and understood.
4. Active listening is NOT easy. It takes practice, intention, and a willingness to show sincere interest in others. It is being fully present in moments where we may find it difficult to be.

These ideas are not hard to grasp, but as I note, are not necessarily easy to do. This is the perfect example of the performance paradox to which I have spoken for over 15 years. While ideas may often seem simple, clear, and understandable, in practice we discover they are not necessarily easy, trouble free, or painless to implement.[5] That may best frame the opportunity we have if we are to excel in achieving experience excellence overall. We must commit to doing the hard work. And I believe at the core of it all, we must commit to the art of listening.

When we take the time to listen with intention, to show respect, to seek to understand beyond words; when we are present with the people in front of us; and when we build processes to ensure we can do that consistently and effectively, we are fundamentally shifting experience in a powerful and positive direction. In the opening words of the new commentary by Grob et al. they write. “Surveys that ask respondents to check boxes remain the dominant measurement paradigm in the patient experience field. For human beings, however, it is stories that remain most fundamental to how we come to understand our individual choices, beliefs, values, and overall lives.”[6] I would suggest that stories, or further in the case of this issue, research and practices, are not about simply the act of “telling.” Rather, I would suggest it is in our listening that they come to life. That is the essence and impact of the art of listening.

When we take the step to engage with another, through their words, their stories, aware of their feelings, their unspoken actions or demeanor, we open an avenue to understanding, acknowledgement and advocacy that allows us to fully drive a commitment to the human at the heart of healthcare. Healthcare experience is not meant to, nor should it be purely transactional. Rather, it is the relational nature of healthcare through which the best outcomes are ultimately realized. And it is here where we can all play our part.

Healthcare experience is not meant to, nor should it be purely transactional. Rather, it is the relational nature of healthcare through which the best outcomes are ultimately realized.

This too is the opportunity found in the practical yet impactful shift in asking people what matters to them versus what is the matter with them.[7] When we shift the dialogue to engaging people in understanding what matters, we open an invitation built on a willingness to listen. When we seek to gather data through people’s voices, through listening, we create new opportunities for understanding and clearer paths to action.

When we open ourselves up to listen, we create opportunities for ourselves as well. We push our own thinking, we stretch our comfort, we build empathy and patience, we expand understanding and awareness. When we listen, we are present in ways that make our actions clearer and our purpose stronger.

Ultimately, if we are committed to listening beyond check boxes, we open ourselves up to be vulnerable. Listening isn’t easy. It takes work and commitment. It is why it is ultimately the human experience superpower. So, what can each of us do to realize our own power? I offer you the following for consideration:

• Put listening at the heart of your experience strategy. Experience is grounded in interactions and fostering relationships driven to positive outcomes. Any successful interaction will need to be built on excellence in listening.
• Recognize that listening is hard work. Being honest with ourselves and others about what it takes to truly listen is fundamental. It is about intention, openness, vulnerability, patience, and purpose. This takes work.
• Build your listening muscles through practice. We may not get listening down immediately. We all are good at hearing but are we truly listening. I encourage us to give ourselves the opportunity to try and fail and own that we can get better. We must also be willing to ask if others feel listened to fully and understand and act on why and why not.
• Work to support others in developing their own capacity to listen. Listening is not a solo sport. It takes a partner in every interaction. As we build our own skills, we can and must work with others in developing theirs. If we support the premise that experience is the sum of ALL interactions, then we must work diligently to help one another get better as we engage in those interactions.
• Be open to the changes that listening will cause for you. The strength in listening is not only in what we take in from others, but also in how what we take in impacts us. Truly listening will touch our heart, shift our thinking, and open our eyes. We must be open to all listening provides us and the personal impact it will have on each of us.

Be open to the changes that listening will cause for you. The strength in listening is not only in what we take in from others, but also in how what we take in impacts us.

When we take a simple but committed step in strengthening the art of listening for ourselves and in our organizations, we honor all that we are committed to in healthcare. We show empathy, we take compassionate action, we express deep respect, we get clearer information, and we make better decisions. When we commit to listen, we care for our patients and care partners, we care for our colleagues, and we care for ourselves. Ultimately, we achieve the best in outcomes we aspire to every day.

It may not be an easy lift, but it is a capability worth building. It is one all the heroes in healthcare deserve. From those who seek us out of need, to those who provide the best in care in every moment, every day. It truly is a human experience superpower. And I believe it is one we all can realize if we are willing. Up, up, and away!

𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀

1. Wolf JA, Niederhauser V, Marshburn D, LaVela SL. Defining Patient Experience. 𝘗𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘌𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘑𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘭. 2014; 1(1):7-19. https://pxjournal.org/journal/vol1/iss1/3/
2. Gergen KJ. 𝘈𝘯 𝘐𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘚𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. Sage; 1999.
3. Berger PL, Luckmann T. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺: 𝘈 𝘛𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘒𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦. Open Road Media; 1966.
4. Rogers CR, Farson RE. 𝘈𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘓𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨. University of Chicago Industrial Relations Center; 1957.
5. Wolf JA. Health care, heal thyself! An exploration of what drives (and sustains) high performance in organizations today. 𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘐𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵. 2008;47(5):38-45. doi:https://doi.org/10.1002/pfi.210
6. Grob R, Warren B, Cottrell E, Grevious N, et al. “Those boxes do not hold me”: Using Narrative Health Experiences Research to Learn from Patients and Care Partners Beyond Surveys. 𝘗𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘌𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘑𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘭. 2025; 12(2): 4-8. https://pxjournal.org/journal/vol12/iss2/2/
7. Barry MJ, Edgman-Levitan S. Shared Decision Making — The Pinnacle of Patient-Centered Care. 𝘕𝘦𝘸 𝘌𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘑𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘔𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘦. 2012;366(9):780-781. doi:https://doi.org/10.1056/nejmp1109283