Putting Yourself First
I’m going to assume that if you’re reading this, you are likely a caregiver. As caregivers, our willingness to help often extends far beyond our immediate family and friends. We are the helpers in our communities. If we haven’t already stepped in to say, “I’ll do it,” chances are we’ll be called upon when something is needed—because everyone knows we will do it.
It’s wonderful to feel needed and to know that the time you spend helping others is deeply appreciated. But what isn’t so wonderful is feeling overwhelmed and exhausted as you try to pull everything together.
This is especially true at this time of year, as the holiday season approaches. Regardless of what or how you celebrate -- or if you choose to celebrate at all—this time often brings extra commitments, events, and responsibilities. The holidays evoke a kaleidoscope of emotions, from excitement and joy to sadness and grief. The anticipation of what the season will bring can feel overwhelming.
It’s tough. Despite the bright lights, cheerful music, and Hallmark endings, for one reason or another, you may not feel festive. I’m here to tell you that whatever you’re feeling, and whatever you decide to do or not do, it’s OK.
Take care of yourself first. Really. I know that’s not usually what we caregivers do, but it’s so important. By taking care of yourself, you can and will provide better care to your loved ones.
You know yourself best. It’s important to remember that self-care may look very different for you than it does for others. Whether it’s treating yourself to a special purchase, declining an invitation to stay home in your pajamas, or volunteering for something that brings you joy, self-care is your choice. You get to decide. Sometimes that sense of control can make all the difference.
It might sound familiar being the expert on yourself, knowing what you need (or don’t need), and feeling empowered to choose. It’s exactly what we advocate for others. Now it’s time to practice what we preach.
This holiday season, make it about YOU. Prioritize yourself, and by doing so, the people you care for will receive the best gift of all: the very best version of you.
- Corey Kimpson, Chair, Patient and Family Advisory Council, Community Ambassador (COVID-19) Cambridge Memorial Hospital
Humanizing Healthcare Through Art
I am Victoria Lyons, Rosie and David Bartel’s granddaughter. I have created a few pieces of art for the Patient and Community Page of the Beryl Institute. Art has healed me in many ways throughout my 21 years. I have also had the experience of seeing other individuals healed through an art creation. It genuinely is a beautiful thing.
My Aunt Paula is an incredible person. She had a tumor in her brain; for her well-being, removal was necessary. Once doctors removed the benign tumor, she lost her vision and began to experience psychosomatic seizures. Psychosomatic seizures are episodes caused by distress in the brain rather than being associated with epileptic seizures.
At the same time, University of Wisconsin Infectious Diseases Department was holding a Six Word Story Graphic Comic Workshop. As this workshop took place, it gave patients another tool to tell their stories. I remember that day exceptionally well; we were at my grandmother's home. My aunt, cousin, sister, grandma, and I sat around the table. This was one of the first times my Aunt Paula shared her story with anyone. Yes, her story was told by others, but not from her point of view. From there, we created the six-frame graphic comic posted on the Beryl Institute’s page entitled “One Benign Tumor Changed My Life Forever.” After she told her story, the seizures subsided, and she was able to continue to learn her new life without unneeded, scary obstacles in her path. The journey has only made her stronger.
I worked on a piece I gave my grandma for Christmas a few years ago. It is titled “My Papa’s Last Days” which is also on the Beryl Institute’s page. When someone dies, especially someone close, you often look for anything that reminds you of them: their smell, laugh, or favorite song. I decided to gift my grandmother with a painting of her true love. I worked on it for three months, and I got to look at him, think about him, and save space for my papa throughout that time. At that moment, I could not get the feelings out of my mouth, but I could get them out on the canvas. Moving a paintbrush rather than your mouth in times of grief is much easier. My grandpa left the earth better than he found it. He was a beautiful man who embodied a beautiful canvas. I miss him every day, but he is always looking down at us. If I want to feel close to him, the painting sits at my grandmas beside his old recliner.
-Victoria Lyons
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